Anonymous asked: (part3): I also fear that he may start blaming himself or other members of our family for having a “bad influence” on me. I love him a lot and want to do it as painlessly as possible.
If he tries to blame anyone, don’t let him. Make sure he knows, respectfully (yelling won’t help at all…ever…seriously), that this is something you’ve known about yourself since x amount of time and you haven’t been persuaded or coerced in any way to be something you’re not.
Sometimes parents push back so hard at your confession, because they are trying to make you crack and give it up. My parents are still convinced it’s a choice, even though I know I was born with it. So, every now and then I have to remind them I am in fact bisexual, and I am still the daughter today that I have always been and nothing is going to change that.
I wish I knew the formula to make this whole experience for everyone and anyone as easy and painless as possible…but coming out is a two-way street…and we can’t make everyone love like the they should.
All we can do is try out best to educate and love others. You know the whole “treat others how you want to be treated thing”? Even if the aggressor isn’t ready to respond in healthy ways…still treat them how you want to be treated by them…kill them with kindness :P.
Eventually they’ll be forced to confront their actions, acknowledge what it does to you despite their supposed “good intentions,” and hopefully eventually…in whatever time frame they need…they’ll make an adjustment.
Our love has been considered wrong for so long in so many cultures, I don’t think we can expect heterosexuals to take the first steps towards peace and understanding. We need to love them first…we need to show them respect first…we need to seek peace first…because they don’t really have a cultural system within their own paradigm that gives them any sort of map of how to. Hence the importance of education…we’re not only trying to help people understand our sexuality, but teach them how to love us like any other person…because we are just like any other person.
Just like your dad was born straight, you weren’t. No one probably had to convince him he was straight, he just knew. No one had to convince you you’re bisexual, you just knew :).
P.s. Stay Strong & Remember To Love and Accept Who You Are :]
…even when others have a hard time with it.